I have learned that sometimes in life you have to make big decisions. Yesterday I made a few big decisions which included::

A. To take a new job or stay at my current job- I choose current job
B. How to celebrate my raise- high calories or healthy- I choose high calories (with the help of the Boyfriend)
C. Which icecream to get a the store- Bryer’s 1/2 gallon or skinny cow bars- I choose Bryer’s (it took a good 5 minutes in front of the freezer)
D. To get the candy corn or not- I choose candy corn (after I put it back 3 times!)
E. Eat the entire 1/2 gallon or not- I ate it all
F. Throw away the candy corn or not- threw it away

I made 2 good decisions in my entire day. TWO! I don’t know why my binge eating starts, I do not know how to control the cravings and to say “no” to myself. I bought a book that is supposed to help, so I am going to continue reading it.

Things I am going to do:

-stick a picture to my fridge
-create a journal
-follow tosca reno’s clean eating plan A
-exercise and stop making excuses

Things I ate from 3pm til 8pm:
– 3 fiber one bars (420 calories)
-3 string cheeses (180 calories)
-slice of pizza (400 calories)
-candy corn (300 calories)
-1/2 gallon of icecream (1200 calories)

That is 2,500 calories- 2 days worth of calories consumed in 5 hours. How? Why?

It is the worst feeling in the world. There is self-loathing, uncomfortable fullness, shame, guilt, sadness and anger.

Off to conquer this.