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When I know that I have a party coming up where I will make unhealthy food choices I pack my own food with me. Because I know me, not only will I eat the brownie and icecream. I’ll sneak another brownie and more icecream when people aren’t around. I cant just have one taste, I feel like I have to have the entire thing, like I will never eat food again. If I don’t taste the unhealthy food, I wont eat more.

I don’t feel weird eating my veggies at dinner because at least they know i’m eating. I don’t want to lose weight and people think that I am not eating. That happened this past summer. I went on vacation with my sisters and I ordered a ceaser salad with grilled chicken. No cheese, no croutons and dressing on the side. The waitress got it all wrong so I only ate the grilled chicken. Then at the store on the way home I grabbed an apple to snack on and my sister said “is that all you are getting?” My sisters know of my past and as soon as we got back they told my mom that I wasn’t eating.

In fact, I was eating. I just made healthy decisions….If only I could make those all of the time.

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I am feel pretty crappy. My throat hurts, my body is sore, and I am coughing. I didn’t get up and go to the gym like I had planned. If I feel better I may squeeze a workout in before or after my niece’s birthday party. Well, I really hope to be able to.

I finally lost the 6lbs I gained back during my binges, now just to lose the other 2lbs and i’ll feel all better. 🙂

Halloween: I worked 14 hours. Boo! But at work I dressed up at Salt and my coworker was Pepper

Next topic…Becoming Vegan. My boyfriend was watching the History channel and how you make pork rinds…I was sick to my stomach and have been looking into becoming vegan. I have not eaten any meat, dairy or eggs in 2 days. Everytime I think “it was just a little thing”, my stomach gets upset and I really don’t feel like eating much. I’ve been researching it for the past 2 days. So anyway, if my diet lacks meat, dairy and eggs- this is why.

My breakfast was boring this morning.

1/3 cup of oatmeal w/cinnamon and a banana= 235

This morning I am trying an abs class and power yoga with my friend beth- i’m a wee bit scared, but i’ll update and let you know how it went.

POWER YOGA & ABS

-abs went well, i could definately feel it. Thumbs up to ab class
-power yoga- ouch! my arms hurt. my wrists hurt. i feel good. 🙂 i actually did the class. I couldnt get one move correct, i need to practice it at home.

…I hate feeling like i’m getting sick. ugh

Today has been full of surprises for me.

First I get to work and coffee overflowed EVERYWHERE. We wear white or black shirts to work and today I happened to wear a white one and had a coffee stain on my SHOULDER! So all day people were asking “what happened to your shirt?”. I wanted to scream. But this morning as coffee was flying everywhere and people were calling in late, I was thinking to myself “I can’t wait to leave this place”, then 2 minutes later, my boss told me she had a question for me, but she was kinda nervous about asking it.

Well…if you ever want to make someone cry, just come to moi. All you have to do is raise your voice or tell me you are nervous about asking me a question and tears will come to my eyes.

So I said okay, but please don’t make me cry, not this morning. She said that she knew I was supposed to be leaving there in 2 weeks, but asked if I would stay, if she gave me a raise. She wasn’t talking about a dollar raise, or two dollar raise. Today I got a $6 raise.

Of course, good things don’t last long. I had to tell the other employers that I could not longer accept the postition, sounds easy right? WRONG. The person that put a good word in for me is my AUNT. So, I went to the office and told her and she froze, and said she understood. I left feeling sad and like she was mad at me. I called the office because I had to tell the management of the office (no way was I asking my aunt to be the messenger), my aunt got on the phone and said that she was in shock, and sorry for being short. She assured me that I was doing the right thing and she would also do it. But I cried, because I am not good at letting people down and I feel like I let her down.

I do not get any help for school whatsoever, its all up to me to pay my bills, school and books, which is A LOT of $$.  If only I had a money tree…

Okay anyway, eats for the day

For breakfast I had Van’s organic blueberry waffles with pumpkin butter! HMMM sooo good. And kiwi and blueberries on the side.

Then I had almond butter and an apple. For lunch I had a veggie burger with a banana.

I am so sleepy. School and then work, it wears me out. I had good eats tonight, just found out that my laptop battery charger is dead so I have to make this speedy!

I didn’t go over calories, for once this week. double yay for me!

The afternoon did indeed put a dampeer on my self-esteem and mood, but I am better now.

I did not have dinner because I was so extremely full from my binge.

Tonight I have::
~Packed my breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks for tomorrow.
~ I have studied for my mid-term that is on Friday! (EEK!).
~I have my gym clothes set out for the morning

I will go to the gym in the morning. I will wake up at 4:15 to get ready and go to the gym. I will go to the gym tomorrow. I am going to the gym early in the morning, even if I do have to work 13 hours.

I better hit the sack now! Good night.